CAREFUL, HIS FAMILY BITES

Money over Emotion –Violence Trends for Asian Women in the U.S. and Globally

              The motivating force for marriage is universal – love. However, in some cultures beyond the shores of the U.S. and within, there are other equally powerful motivators like money. When money is in the game, an Asian bride has to be careful because the groom’s family could bite, torture, or even kill.

For women in America, there are endless varieties of abuse, generally thought of in relationship to the Caucasian, Afro-American and Hispanic communities. But even though this variety of madness challenges the liberty of so many of our citizens, the plot thickens when we realize that emotionally motivated violence, common in these ethnicities, is not the sole motivator of violence.  For other cultures, also residing in America, there are other drivers for domestic violence that reflect something different than purely emotionally driven rationalizations.

For instance, money.

It’s not the kind of money described in movies where some upper echelon families ‘encourage’ marriages between wealthy bank accounts. In some global cultures, marriages are arranged. It’s still expected that dowries will be provided at the time of the wedding and beyond in order for the woman to be safe in her new marriage and life. Such is still the case in many Indian marriages and the price for families who don’t pay can be torture, severe abuse, or death. In fact, a woman dies every 9 minutes in India under the dowry system, a system which became illegal in 1961.

Despite this legal mandate to stop, many families still participate in this tradition, however unholy. In fact, Indian brides are routinely burned to death though surreptitious plots hatched by the groom’s family- and thousands of other young newlyweds are subjected to physical, mental and emotional abuse aimed at extorting money from the bride’s family.  Talk about the wedding notes going off key! Although money, not emotion, is fueling this violence, the results are just as horrendous, if not more so.

Dowry deaths are not documented in the U.S., but domestic abuse against Asian Indian women comes from the groom and the groom’s family. It can be intense and safe passage requires watchful and informed eyes. According to the Asian Women’s Safety Net, there are resources available for help including special Domestic Violence Response Teams as well as a national database of Asian Indian support resources in 29 states. If you are a victim of domestic violence, make sure that:

• ·you know where to go in case of emergency
• ·you know your support system (contact numbers of DVRT, friends, counselors, local police)
• ·you take into account your children’s welfare
• ·you have an escape plan as well as a post-escape plan
• ·you know who you can entrust with your important documents and belongings

The Asian Indian population is the 3^rd fastest immigrant population in the U.S.  Asian populations are growing faster than any other ethnic group. In December of 2012, the U.S. had about 18.9 million Asians including those from India, up 530,000 from the year before (~3% growth).  Only China and Mexico send more people to the U.S.

Many beautiful traditions exist in the Asian Indian culture, but domestic violence exists in every culture. We need to break through from all this madness- generated by greed, emotion or by tradition. To this end, we need to be vigilant with eyes wide open and with a determination to protect innocent women of all cultures.

For more information on tips and trends to empower Asian Indian women, and build awareness across cultures, contact Seema Singh at seemasingh.com 

Seema Singh, dubbed the “Accidental Advocate,” has a success formula that is no accident. Seema blazes new paths. From ages 8 to 80, Seema engages with a mission and a message that moves an audience. A veteran speaker of more than 500+ venues, Seema constantly renews her audience relevance by staying connected. Her words of wisdom, information, and motivation have been heard by diverse groups from ages 8 to 80.

She has travelled to the local community center in everytown New Jersey USA to candlelight vigils on behalf of domestic violence victims in the Asian Indian Community to the Tsunami-ravaged villages in India, and the corridors of legislative power and justice for people in government including Capitol Hill. Her topics are diverse including women in politics, domestic violence among the Asian Indian community, the power of an advocate in office and in the courtroom, a pioneer in the Energy Conservation message for all ages. Download her speaker marketing kit for the full range of information she can add to your event.

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CONNECTING WITH A PURPOSE
Who speaks, sows; who listens,
reaps. Argentine Proverb

Seema is a platinum networker who has always savored rapport building as an opportunity to operate with a high degree of care, constancy, and earnestness. Her overarching professional life demonstrates Seema’s abilities as a savvy champion and autographs her networking life with a singular agenda– connecting with a purpose.

As a trailblazer for new career heights, accomplishments, and political leadership, Seema has the ultimate in a networking life. Her high level visibility across the East Coast and global scale propels a tapestry of conversations in her circles. What these conversations reveal is a breathing ability to inhale good people, inspiring connections, the great alliance, or even identify who should exit to the sideline. It is impossible to count the events and conversations but as one who imbibes the networking life for others, Seema connects with a purpose.

As the courageous leader of the Asian Indian Chamber of Commerce (AICC), Seema’s business savvy has transformed a niche chamber to a powerful beacon of business innovation. She leads passionate business owners and thought-leaders in this fast-growing community. Their chamber serves the NJ tri-state area (NJ, NY, and PA) but their effectiveness within this geography is a tremendously powerful force yielding a meteoric membership rise to more than 500 members (and still growing). The AICC is filling an entrepreneurial vacuum with business processes such as their Networking Nites and International Business Expositions to expand revenue growth in New Jersey and beyond. Their annual dinner gala is full of tradition with expanding components to introduce and honor the shining stars from various professions in their burgeoning Asian Indian community. For the purpose of promoting trade between India and New Jersey, Seema organizes an Annual Trade Mission and leads a delegation to India every other year.

Further, her government savvy and reputation has opened a blazing future of opportunity with broader NJ chamber alliances such as the Edison Chamber of Commerce as well as a new Strategic Alliances with the Small Business Administration. The latter has resulted in a Strategic Alliance Memorandum (SAM) which will develop and foster mutual understanding and a working relationship between the SBA and the AICC. Visit the Asian Indian Chamber of Commerce website for information on their chamber and events.

MPOWERMENT THROUGH SERVICE
My humanity is bound up in yours,
for we can only be human together.
Desmond Tutu

There is no greater reflection of empowerment than service in your local and global community. Seema’s priorities are evidence of her deep beliefs in service. Her schedule is tireless. Her intentions are actualized in the far-reaching and impactful ways she cares for people. Not only has she championed consumer education on energy and water conservation and performed community outreach of same, but she also devoted her attention to leading and organizing groups for political outreach, health and safety for Asian American citizens, protection of women and volunteerism on a large scale.

Seema founded the Rotary Club of Plainsboro and extended the long admired tradition of rotary services including providing food through soup kitchens and toys for tots. She led the club to new heights of fundraising for needed surgeries in several areas including—The Helen Keller Institute for the Deaf and Blind and the Jaipur Foundation for Limb Replacement.

When the Tsunami hit in 2005 creating a global introduction to the devastation that occurred in this type of disaster, Seema led the initiative to raise funds, visit the Tsunami devastated areas, and rebuild schools in India that were destroyed. She was steadfast in this purpose on personal and business travels to the country. She dedicated 3 days touring the affected areas only to see the mountains of devastation. Tapping her Chamber of Commerce relationships and a partnership with the United Way of Central Jersey, a multi-year initiative was launched, and continues, to reconstruct schools in India that were destroyed. Headlines of this area’s suffering have disappeared but the vigilance of rebuilding these lives with people like Seema and her network have never stopped. Seema does not forget nor does she allow others to forget.

             Approached by a public servant with compassion for the plight of many Asian and Arab women who suffered domestic violence, Seema initially established the Asian Women’s Safety Net (AWSN) in 2006 as a project under the New Jersey Coalition of Battered Women. Seema’s role in the formation of the Asian Women’s Safety Net was pivotal in galvanizing an organization whose purpose is to break taboos and tackle the “guilty secret” of domestic violence for Asian and Arab women. No longer will the AWSN allow fear and communication barriers to block access to the state resources and services.

Today, the Asian Women’s Safety Net (AWSN) has become its own independent non-profit organization. The AWSN continues its purpose with passion under Seema’s leadership. It bridges the gap of communication with Asian Indian women who are battered and for some living with what is described as the “silent killer” of the spirit, mind, and sometimes, the physical being. A group of dedicated volunteers are trained to interface with Asian Indian battered women and reduce the fear of coming forward to use the state system of services. The volunteer training includes best practices on using their cultural language and familiarity to give Asian women a comfort level to save and protect their lives. The common ground for direct communication is a core component of the AWSN with valuable alliances in the justice system, prosecutor’s office, existing mainstream women’s groups and State offices.

         Seema’s belief in the importance of the role as volunteer is embodied in her continuous service on the Advisory Board of the NJ Governor’s Office of Volunteerism. Established under the leadership of Governor Corzine, citizens are actively given a support resource in this executive initiative established by the governor.

THE PIONEER’S JOURNEY
Get into politics as though your life depended on it.
It does. – Justin Dart

The decision to run for political office is about passion, conviction, and the belief to make a difference. These are all characteristics Seema Singh possessed when she entered the race for the NJ State Senate -14th District, making her the first Indian American woman to run for state senate. She faced challenges similar to every electoral candidate- getting the vote out among her potential constituency, fundraising, debating, speechmaking, seeking endorsements, etc. Seema also walked through a door of opportunity to level the playing field of money in the NJ pilot program for Clean Elections. The 14th district was chosen to participate in this program.

The Clean Elections pilot program sought to “even the playing field” in three selected districts in New Jersey, with qualified candidates foregoing special interest money when they raised $10 donations from registered voters in the district. The threshold was between 400-800 individual donations to qualify for public funding for their campaign activities. Seema moved out of her legal comfort zone to the homes, community centers, and streets of the people and their concerns. Her conversations were rich, rewarding, and robust, and Seema’s attention to detail, researching issues and information problem solving did not go unnoticed by citizens in the 14th district. On the contrary, it was Seema’s vigilance that 14th District voters noticed and acknowledged with their $10 contributions. As a result, Seema was the first candidate in the election to meet the Clean Election funding requirements with 800 individual donations. It guaranteed her a level of equal access to debate the incumbent, not once but three times.

Seema’s skill reservoir and power lessons of pros and cons grew exponentially. Her campaign found energy in mobilizing the community, extensive voter registration, giving new voice to those dissatisfied across race, gender, and economic lines. Here, Seema discovered the noble place of politics—the real transfer of power into the hands of the people. Daily issues of EVERY category such as housing, health, energy, environment, education, and researching information and law for good old-fashioned answers were constantly in the foreground process of representing the people.

Although defeated in the Senate race, Seema continues her visibility and action at the local and state levels, finding that enduring relationships, networks, and contacts are the lasting building blocks of a this type of public journey. She characterizes her efforts of the hard-fought campaign with a strategic eye for helping others learn from her electoral politics run. When the day returns, Seema Singh’s results were sufficiently notable to fortify her for another turnstile entrance to politics and beyond.